A funny thing about quarantining is hearing your partner in full work mode for the first time. Like, I'm married to a "Let's circle back" guy. Who knew?
My wife works from home full-time, but I remember the day I realized she was the "one more question" person at the end of meetings. I was shook.
I'm married to "just to clarify."
I love "just to clarify!" Politest way to reiterate someone's dumb*ss idea back to them and be like "you sure?"
Mine said "Why don't we table that and revisit it in a couple days..." Who the f*ck is he? We've never tabled a da*n thing and revisited anything in our entire 36-year marriage!
My husband is pleasant and patient on the phone. It's like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I know him as the guy who can't sit still at red lights and won't buy more than three groceries at a time. WTF? Why can't I have the patient guy?
I was once in a meeting with a corporate bro who said "Let me take a moment to curate the space" (he meant supply context for the meeting) and now I'm wondering if his spouse has already decided on divorce or giving it a few more days.
I was always bothered by "I'll craft an email." What was wrong with "write"?
Turns out my husband can actually small talk, just not with anyone we know in non-work life.
It's a mask that the need to earn a living forces us to wear.
My partner is laid back and chilled about everything, never has much of an opinion or argument, but apparently at work he's super competent and speaks up and gets things done. It's very disorienting.
I remember being on a conference call on speakerphone when visiting my mom. When the call was over, she was like "Did you understand any of that?" I'm like, yes. This is what I do. Lol.
This! My husband - "What's one thing I can do to make your day better?" WTF?
Why don't I get asked that?
I'm married to "For the love of Christ" guy who calls everyone "Chief."
I've heard mine on conference calls. He's eye rolling corny, almost cringy...but it's also kind of adorable. Lol.
You know I have Twitter, right?
I did say adorable.
My husband is the King of Tangent. Yet over and over at work meetings he herds everyone back to the original point, eliminates outlying discussions, and funnels them to a plan. He looks like my husband but I'm not sure...
Same. My husband runs a whole water department, then comes home and can't find the extra bottles of shampoo, which are and always have been in the cabinet below the sink.